Fortune Fanatics Gifts

'I see money. . . I see more money. . . I see a woman.'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Giant Monster in Bath

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Born to raise interest rates.

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

Overdraft limit.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

Medieval King

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

'Very nice, but I was hoping they'd be a little bit more obscene.'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

Your Palm

'Pep's finance' man confused and scared of 'Real estate', 'Gold' etc

'They might be able to resist the candy, but no healthy child can walk by a freshly raked pile of leaves.'

"Madame, you're the most beautiful lady in the whole country and as sweet as apple pie!"

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'