Fortune Fan Gifts

"I was looking for a more long range answer than 'Happy Hour.'"

'I see a body of water...with soap.'

Your Palm

'This card tells me you're a gullible young woman.' 'You're good! That's exactly what I am.'

'Everything will turn to gold-but don't worry,it won't last....'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"How's my life line doing?"

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

"My apologies Mr Hare, I must be misreading this. You're right, how could you possibly lose the race against the tortoise tomorrow..."

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

"You will soon come into a lot of money."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

"I see you on a beach..."

'I see you meeting a man who can borrow at well below prime.'

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

'Hey, Ruby, want to give this guy an estimate?'

The day the dinosaurs died...'There's no fortunes in any of these!'

"It's curious. No matter how hard I try, I can't find your life line."

Because I don't need my crystal ball to know what will happen if you don't clean your room.

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'