Fortune Teller Fan Gifts

"Can you increase its range?"

'We have three confirmations, the crystal ball, the magic 8-ball and the coin flip, all say to buy.'

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'

'I can see... two all beef paddies, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'Hey, Ruby, want to give this guy an estimate?'

Consulting a 'Weight and Fortune' machine to predict the end of the world.

"You're a gullible twat."

WEIGHT AND FORTUNE: red is your color.

'Oh, that's our manual back-up.'

'You will spend the winter shoveling snow.'

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

Psychic help line woman tossing a coin

Palmist Alarmist - Uh ooooh!

"I see you on a beach..."

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

"Your predictions of the future are uncanny, Nostradamus, but your weather reports are crap."

"This does not end well for you."

'My horoscope said I'd rise to great heights.'

'I see a varied career for you. Thanksgiving dinner...turkey salad...turkey hash...turkey soup...'

Crystal Goldfish Bowl

"Wow! Imagine me taking biology and being the class cut up!"

'Your wife called on her way back from the fortune teller. She said to stay and enjoy your pint while she tries to increase your life insurance!'

I thought you said this psychic was far-sighted.

'I see Jimbo the clown is carrying on with the juggler's wife again.'

Fortune: you will eat a funky little cookie soon.

"Hey! There's a carnival by the mall! Let's get our futures told!"

'I see you voting 'no' about something...'

"It's just like she said it would happen."

Because I don't need my crystal ball to know what will happen if you don't clean your room.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

Here be dragons.

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'