Fortune Fan Pillows

"I was looking for a more long range answer than 'Happy Hour.'"

'I see a body of water...with soap.'

Your Palm

'This card tells me you're a gullible young woman.' 'You're good! That's exactly what I am.'

'Everything will turn to gold-but don't worry,it won't last....'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"How's my life line doing?"

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

"My apologies Mr Hare, I must be misreading this. You're right, how could you possibly lose the race against the tortoise tomorrow..."

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

"You will soon come into a lot of money."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

"I see you on a beach..."

'I see you meeting a man who can borrow at well below prime.'

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

'Hey, Ruby, want to give this guy an estimate?'

'...and I see dozens, no, hundreds of dirty socks lying on the floor! And I see windowless cars filled with injured squirrels and blind cats, who take you to an oasis of bacon bits...'

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

"It's curious. No matter how hard I try, I can't find your life line."

'Man, look at these young guys! This 'wheel' thing is making them all soft. Next, they'll be using animals to pull themselves around!'

'I can see... two all beef paddies, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"The wealth inequality is a good lesson, since a bullish portfolio will make you rich, not happy."