Fortune Fans Gifts

Do you think we should tell anyone about this?

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall? Was he invested in emerging markets?"

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

Your Palm

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

"I see you on a beach..."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

'I see you meeting a man who can borrow at well below prime.'

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

'Hey, Ruby, want to give this guy an estimate?'

'...and I see dozens, no, hundreds of dirty socks lying on the floor! And I see windowless cars filled with injured squirrels and blind cats, who take you to an oasis of bacon bits...'

"It's curious. No matter how hard I try, I can't find your life line."

The day the dinosaurs died...'There's no fortunes in any of these!'

Because I don't need my crystal ball to know what will happen if you don't clean your room.

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

'I can see... two all beef paddies, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'Yahoo! It says 'Your wife is going to collect a large sum of insurance money!''

See, what did I tell you? Next year, bring me your office pool bracket earlier.