Claret Connoisseur Gifts

Arriving At An Inn

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

The Alpha Seltzer

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

Burlyesque

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

C Day Lewis.

Trustworthy Authority.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"What am I, chopped liver?"

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

'Don't look now, but they're starting ANOTHER religion in the Middle East.'

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

Sergei Rachmaninov

"My lines have become blurred, I can't remember whether I'm drinking the medicinal or the recreational wine."

Cabaret

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

"If you want to spend a little more, here's one that comes with a trust fund."

"It's our anniversary. Bring us your best bottle of beer!"

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

"Mmmm... Let's see... Little cable cars...ah...ah...halfway to the...to the...aha! To the stars! ...I Left My Heart in San Francisco! Tony Bennett! Right?"

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

"Bargain hunters!"

"Nobody takes Tolstoy seriously anymore."

Tarzan of the overcompensators

"Can you recommend any wines for the middle class?"

War And Peace?/The Catcher in the Rye?/Citizen Kane?/Jaws?