Clearance Connoisseur Gifts

75 Off on Slightly Defective Referee Shirts.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Dr. Green...5 second rule...stat!"

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

'I see the Maids have been in!'

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

PODs Venn Diagram

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

Junior's Towel

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

"What am I, chopped liver?"

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

Duelling personalities.

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

'She's going to six different psychiatrists for her compulsive comparison shopping problem.'

Stand Up Vacuums

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. . . already marked down for clearance and it's not even Halloween yet."

"I can't watch this, it's disgusting!"

Vandalism at the Graffiti Art Museum

Park cleaner sweeping dirt under a statue.

"This is wonderful - a completely dust-free lab. What do you study here?"

"Clues, Watson? How can I find clues when all I see is germs?"

'Ladies and gentlemen, would you like your screens wiped or dusted?'

"You should feel honoured. I don't sue anyone."

'Do you really want me to get in there and pollute all that nice clean water?'

'I ordered it from the catalog.'

In case of urge to tidy up, clean glass.