Cleanse Connoisseur Gifts

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

Pet owner pours out contents of treats for dog that are oddly shaped. Box titled: 'Funny Bones'.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

'I know how you like things to be clean, so I gave fishy a bath!"

'Botox so soon, Master?'

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

Junior's Towel

'I see the Maids have been in!'

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

"Yes, it was tested on rabbits and they simply adored it."

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

A grave with an array of beauty products

Jutting Protuberances in just 10 Days!

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.