Clean-cut Connoisseur Gifts

Man using shaving foam with an electic shaver.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

A Macaroni in 1772

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

Bill Bailey

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"Dr. Green...5 second rule...stat!"

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

Junior's Towel

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

'I see the Maids have been in!'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

'Man, I wish she would act her age.'

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

Fashion world.

Four beds labelled modern, abstract, surreal and cartoon

George Carlin

'The 89's are very forward with meat on the nose and a lingering marrow-bone finish.'

"I can't watch this, it's disgusting!"

Stand Up Vacuums

Park cleaner sweeping dirt under a statue.

"This is wonderful - a completely dust-free lab. What do you study here?"

"Clues, Watson? How can I find clues when all I see is germs?"

'Ladies and gentlemen, would you like your screens wiped or dusted?'

'Do you really want me to get in there and pollute all that nice clean water?'

In case of urge to tidy up, clean glass.

These new crisps are pretty good! It's wonderful what cam be done with old cornflakes and salt.