Cat Comedist Gifts

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"Projectile hairballing."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"I hate it..."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

Great mouser!

Before you feed him/After you feed him.