Cat Comedic Genius Gifts

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Projectile hairballing."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

"I hate it..."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Cat Lover's Leap.

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."