Cat Comedy Gifts

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Cat Reunion

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Projectile hairballing."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Hell No Kitty

"I hate it..."

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'I hate surprises!'

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg