Cat Humorist Gifts

"Never, ever, think outside the box."

Solving the dropping cake problem.

'I'm telling you, he jumped!'

'Imagine coming back and having to spend 9 lives as a cat.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"There goes ol' Casper - he got thrown out of the house for 'thinking outside the box', if you know what I mean."

"We can't afford a vacation. If you want to feel the sand between your toes, you're going to have to walk around in the litter box."

The saying of Chairman Meow.

How to tell if your cat is female.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Native American Indian Lacrosse

101 uses of a dead cat: tent pegs.

101 uses of a dead cat: corner flag post.

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

Boots in Puss

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

101 uses of a dead cat: security fence

'There goes man's best friend — the poor sap!'

101 uses of a dead cat: zip line.

101 uses of a dead cat: wine holder

'Declawed, Denutted and Deranged.'

101 uses of a dead cat: mute

101 uses of a dead cat: helmet decorations.

"You resume states, 'My only good quality is I purr'. Could you go into that a little more?"

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"Maybe you should try chasing a decaffeinated mouse ... "

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

"Now, without chasing it, I want you to follow the laser dot."

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

"I didn't make the cut for the football or basketball teams, but I did make the hairball team!"

Cat Shower

101 uses of a dead cat: train signals.

"Favorable meow"

Alice through the Cat Flap

"I'll tell him the cat did it."

"You can pet me now."