Cat Comedian Gifts

"I think you just folded the cat."

'I'm afraid that we can't insure you. Our records indicate that you only have one life left'

'Don't you think you're spoiling Tiddles?'

Extra Absorbent Kitty Litter.

'Science shows cats love you!'

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Have you no shame?"

Cat drinking baby's bottle of milk.

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

"Sorry. Using my paws to clean myself just isn't my style."

'...How can a cat get diabetes?'

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"I'm too lazy to weave through my owner's legs, so I've set up a trip-wire."

Litter Box with actual litter.

'Harland, we want a divorce.'

'So then they said they were going to get me fixed and I told them I wasn't broken. You will never guess what happened next...'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"Hair balls are a thing of the past since I switched to moist towelettes."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

Cat Show - Sheds Most

"The slow approach, the suspicious sniff, the final turning away...nobody does finicky like Precious."

"I love cats." "Typical Cat-holic."

"I hate it..."

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

"This show is about as exciting as watching grass or paint dry or litter clump..."

"Is that the empty box I ordered?"

"Then it's agreed. We'll sleep on it."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

Meow Presentation

"When you're in therapy, you want out, and when you're out, you want in. Why do you think that is?"

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

"Mrs. Leffler threw burned toast out the window and hit Mr. Stripes on the head. I think Mrs. Leffler owes Mr. Stripes an apology. What do you thing about that, Elinor honey?"

Cats are not as intelligent as you think.