Cat Comedian Fan Gifts

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Cat Reunion

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Projectile hairballing."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"She's all over YouTube."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Cat Zoom Meeting

Hell No Kitty

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

Litter Tray Stonehenge

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"I hate it..."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

'I hate surprises!'

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."