Cat Comedist Pillows

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Projectile hairballing."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

Hell No Kitty

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"I hate it..."

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Cat Lover's Leap.

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Great mouser!

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."