Feline Comedian Pillows

"Like heck I'm doing downward dog."

"So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds."

Great mouser!

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Cat Reunion

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

His Master's Thesis.

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

Dogs life

"I finally caught you... now what?"

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

Diving Cat.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."