Feline Humor Pillows

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Projectile hairballing."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

Great mouser!

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

"You resume states, 'My only good quality is I purr'. Could you go into that a little more?"

"Oooh, look — a penny!"