Heavenly Feline Humor Pillows

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Local News in Heaven

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"She's all over YouTube."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Projectile hairballing."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

Shoe repair

CartoonStock Upload

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

'I hate surprises!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

You're lucky - I wish mine was such a picky eater.

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

Great mouser!

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'