Feline Humor Fan Pillows

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"She's all over YouTube."

"Projectile hairballing."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

'I hate surprises!'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

"That's the pill I gave the cat this afternoon!"

"Oooh, look — a penny!"

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

The Cat That Swallowed the... no, it was the other way round.

'Yes, I did watch three pay-per-view movies while you were gone. Just how long did you expect a ball of yarn to entertain me?'

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

Cat Nightmares

'Overslept? You're a cat. How could you possibly oversleep?'

Kitty Litter

Inky marks his territory the new and improved way.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Air Craft Carrier

'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

"Oops, sorry new guy, I guess I forgot to mention he's not a morning person..."