Cat Humor Pillows

'How can you not know if your cat is dead or alive, Mr Schrodinger?'

'I must be losing it. I forgot to try to trip someone walking down the stairs today.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Projectile hairballing."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"I hate it..."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

'I hate surprises!'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

'No need to shout.'

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat