Cat Humorists Pillows

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"Projectile hairballing."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"I hate it..."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.