Cat Humor Aficionados Pillows

101 uses of a dead cat: vehicle bumpers.

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"Projectile hairballing."

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

Hell No Kitty

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

'I hate surprises!'

Cat Lover's Leap.

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

"That's the pill I gave the cat this afternoon!"

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

'It all started when she started playing with the ball of yarn.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

The Cat That Swallowed the... no, it was the other way round.

'Yes, I did watch three pay-per-view movies while you were gone. Just how long did you expect a ball of yarn to entertain me?'

Inky marks his territory the new and improved way.

Cat Nightmares

'Overslept? You're a cat. How could you possibly oversleep?'

"Oops, sorry new guy, I guess I forgot to mention he's not a morning person..."

"Give me a minute—I'm working on my core."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Air Craft Carrier

'Mr Reynolds, you can't count your litter box as a deduction just because you do your business there.'

"Marcia, how many lives do I have left?"

"I don't care what they say...they don't really want you to think outside the box."

Cards For Cats.

'All right already - I'll change your litter box.'

You're right! She's mad because we got her a small rodent for her birthday last year, too.