Cat Humor Fans Pillows

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Whaling

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"Projectile hairballing."

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

Cat Lover's Leap.

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

"That's the pill I gave the cat this afternoon!"

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

'It all started when she started playing with the ball of yarn.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

The Cat That Swallowed the... no, it was the other way round.

'Yes, I did watch three pay-per-view movies while you were gone. Just how long did you expect a ball of yarn to entertain me?'

Cat Nightmares

Inky marks his territory the new and improved way.

"Give me a minute—I'm working on my core."

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

"He expects us to climbdown first."

"Oops, sorry new guy, I guess I forgot to mention he's not a morning person..."

'Overslept? You're a cat. How could you possibly oversleep?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Air Craft Carrier

"Marcia, how many lives do I have left?"

"I don't care what they say...they don't really want you to think outside the box."

'All right already - I'll change your litter box.'