Cat Lover Humorist Pillows

You guys go ahead - I'm an inside cat.

"Of course I'm a sociopath; what else did you expect? I'm a cat."

Biofelineism

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Projectile hairballing."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

Litter Tray Stonehenge

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

"I hate it..."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'I hate surprises!'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."