Cat Person Humorist Pillows

"Sorry, but we're the other kind of cat cafe."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"First date hairball... awkward."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Cat Reunion

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Dogs life

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Cats at private view

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Projectile hairballing."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."