Broadcasting Humorist Gifts

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Grimm's Reality Tales.

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"You're not just a number here. You're a number who hasn't been fired yet."

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

'I wrote on this piece of cardboard because the teleprompter is broken. Just say something about technical difficulties and we'll be right back after these messages or whatever. Just don't read this on air!'

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

Elon Musk's Twitter Bid

Track & Field & Stream magazine

Now you can buy shares online. "Buy Cher's What?"

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

Joe shoots his best scores with his graphite shaft!

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"

Dying your hair red at home

No caption (A ball boy crouches by the net on a ping pong table as a game is being played).

It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. I'm devastated. My favorite fast-food place is cheating on me. That's what it feels like, anyway. It's Burger King! Burger King's moving its headquarters to Canada to weasel out of paying taxes! I feel so betrayed. How do I deal with this betrayal, Sadie?! You sound a lot like the CEO of McDonald's. McWhat? Never heard of it.

In addition to players, some major league umpires are suspected of using steroids.

The Club Singles Duel.

'That fugitive looks just like our financial advisor.'

A pot of darts players

"Evenin' gents - what's yer poison..?"

"Canned food, canned music, canned laughs. Yes we can."

"Let's go with the sand-wedgie."

'Now, where did I put it?'

"I'm gonna boycott twitter. But is it a boycott if I never tweeted before?"

Trump - The curly years

Dirty Harry

'Why do we always talk about this stuff?'