Broadcasting Humorist Pillows

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Grimm's Reality Tales.

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"You're not just a number here. You're a number who hasn't been fired yet."

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

Track & Field & Stream magazine

Now you can buy shares online. "Buy Cher's What?"

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

Joe shoots his best scores with his graphite shaft!

"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"

Dying your hair red at home

The Club Singles Duel.

'That fugitive looks just like our financial advisor.'

"Evenin' gents - what's yer poison..?"

A pot of darts players

"Let's go with the sand-wedgie."

'Now, where did I put it?'

"Sorry kiddo, I might be a "Magical Creature", but I don't know any magic trick..."

"I'm gonna boycott twitter. But is it a boycott if I never tweeted before?"

Trump - The curly years

Dirty Harry

'And if you're listening to this ladies tennis match in digital stereo the grunt from your left is from Serena Williams and from the right is...'

'Cereal's not all that expensive -- why is everybody always trying to steal it?'