Reality Tv Humorist Pillows

'Wikipedia says that the new guy you're dating has been on Jerry Springer's show three times,'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Grimm's Reality Tales.

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

'It's a new reality show about a reality show producer...'

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

'It's a surprise for my husband, he isn't going.'

"You're not just a number here. You're a number who hasn't been fired yet."

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

Elon Musk's Twitter Bid

'I wrote on this piece of cardboard because the teleprompter is broken. Just say something about technical difficulties and we'll be right back after these messages or whatever. Just don't read this on air!'

Now you can buy shares online. "Buy Cher's What?"

Suggestion Box for the Wather.

"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"

Dying your hair red at home

A Woman Using a Mirror to Discover Her Weight.

'I take it you're new to painting miniatures?'

'There's not much call for human flies these days.'

'That fugitive looks just like our financial advisor.'

"Evenin' gents - what's yer poison..?"

'Cereal's not all that expensive -- why is everybody always trying to steal it?'

"Canned food, canned music, canned laughs. Yes we can."

'Why do we always talk about this stuff?'

'I've never killed a deer before but I'll take a shot at it.'

"Sorry kiddo, I might be a "Magical Creature", but I don't know any magic trick..."

Frank's Realty. The guru's house is tough to sell. One door opening whenever another closes is not a plus in real estate.

Who Was that Masked Man? Oh.

Dirty Harry

'Now, where did I put it?'

Brexit Way

'Welcome to 'All Sides of the Issues.' Here's our panel of commentators -- a communist, a socialist, a liberal, and a progressive....'

Actually, I never understood these televised sessions until the cable company started scrambling their signal.