Botanical Joke Fans Gifts

'I've decided to go straight!'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"I'll race you to the top."

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

Hay fever hotline.

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

'I'd better run some tests... It could be cancer.'

Venus fly trap.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."

Plants and Flowers Crack Jokes.

"I thought you'd like it. It's an orchid. pre-neglected!"

Bro Miliads

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

"My paw's getting tired. Is your paw getting tired?"

Rejected State Flowers

'Sorry I'm late - I found a fermented honey tree.'

"I warned him not to go vegan."

"It seems that a flower is just a weed in drag!"

"The hair growth formula didn't help Bob...so we're trying it in the garden!"

Belching plant

'The bad news is, it didn't grow hair. The good news is, he's being featured in 'Better Homes and Gardens'.' (Quick Gro tub next to chair.)

"Oh, don't worry. I'm a vegetarian."

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."

'That so turns me on.'