Biblical History Buffs Gifts

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

"Sure, but Mrs. Noah did make some design changes while you were out collecting beasties."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Ten Commandments

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Noah's ark, many lions

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'King Solomon had seven hundred wives, Ed, and you just have the one. Surely you can work out your differences.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

So … how did you two meet?

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."

Adam and Eve: The Later Years.