Bible Studies Scholar Gifts

Eve ate of the apple, and God doth a spit take

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Moses on the web

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"You call this a constitution?"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

TSA Noah

"I've got writer's block."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'