Biblical Scholar Gifts

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"Behold! A most unusual star in the East." "Could be trouble." "Let's not get involved." Three very wise men.

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

'I assume we'll be on the honor system, right?'

Man to biblical character: 'All this time we thought you were a non-prophet organization.'

"O.K., so the meek shall inherit the earth, and the rich will have a hard time getting into Heaven. But what about the middle class?"

"I hear he turned water int wine, but it was a rather poor-quality Mesopotamian Cabernet."

"Is he the God of the Old or the New Testament this morning?"

Moses and the wandering years. Another theory.

"You sure you want to go the self-publishing route?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'I'm glad my name's not 'thou'.'

''Situational ethics,' you say?'

"Building a Tower of Babel, are they? - I'll slap them with a diversity program they'll never recover from!"

"Well, I really enjoyed it, and it definitely made me want to read more by this author."

"Must I sacrifice family for career?"

'The trouble with monotheism is that you can never get a second opinion.'

'Easier for a camel to fit through a needle than a rich man to enter heaven? My lawyer has prepared a giant needle.'

"I warned him about opening another bottle of wine!"

'This 'Palestine' place you're giving to us - Will we have the mineral rights?'

Take two tablets and call me in the morning.

EVE...some assembly required

'Is it organic?'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

'They're not going to take these commandments seriously unless You carve them in stone or something.'

"Hey hold on...I'm reading the small print!"

"Is the Christian pious?"

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"Great work Moses...do you mind transferring them onto papyrus now?"

'We know it's good...we had an excellent ghost writer.'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'This is NOT a word association test!'

'Where are the graphics?'