Biblical Expert Gifts

"It's 'Honor thy Father and Mother', not brother!"

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"You call this a constitution?"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"I've got writer's block."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"What did Jesus order?"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

Noah's ark, many lions