Biblical Expert Pillows

"It's 'Honor thy Father and Mother', not brother!"

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"You call this a constitution?"

"I've got writer's block."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

The World's Biggest Book Club

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Noah's ark, many lions

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"What did Jesus order?"