Biblical Enthusiast Gifts

"He's all right. I just wish he were a little more pro-Israel."

'The first commandment is: Thou shalt not shoot the messenger.'

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

'Morning, Guys! Did someone say, 'Rise and shine'?

'This is quite a job description!'

'Oh, ick! -- I just stepped on a fish!'

'Sheesh! - and we thought the PHARAOH was a control freak!'

"Oh, great. Now I'll be late for work."

Adam and Eve: The Later Years.

'Who knocked down the walls of Jericho.'

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

"'Genesis' was brilliant! I can't wait for the next installment."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Moses life jacket demonstration.

'869 years isn't old, Methuselah. You're good for another hundred years.'

"Wait for it."

'it's only fair to warn you -- He's omniscient.'

David knew he had to make the first shot count. He couldn't take a chance with rock, stone and scissors.

'Really? - You wrote these with ME in mind?'

'...Noah really knows how to build an Ark.'

The Joy of Begetting

'If there was one thing Methusela hated. It was his Birthday bumps.

'Here you go -- Don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'We have to build an ark - It's part of His restructuring plan.'

'Boy, will this drought ever end?'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"He'll have abandonment issues."

'Remember how you put Cain and Abel on the honor system'

Noah's Ark: Still built one at a time.

'Oh yeah Well if we're the only ones here, then whose leaves are THESE'

True biblical stories.

''Chosen by God,' eh? - What's the catch?'

'I believe that's the Prophet Levi.'