Biblical Studies Professor Gifts

"Have fun with it."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Moses on the web

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"You call this a constitution?"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"I've got writer's block."

TSA Noah

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

The World's Biggest Book Club

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

"What did Jesus order?"