Biblical Studies Gifts

"He's all right. I just wish he were a little more pro-Israel."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

'Crimony Eve, it's the 5th one you've shrunk. How many times do I have to tell you that my figs are dry clean only!'

'I assume we'll be on the honor system, right?'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.

With the economic situation going from bad to worse Jonah decides to move back in.

Adam chasing Eve with a leaf blower.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Which Is Better - To Eat From The Tree Of Knowledge And Get Kicked Out Or To Stick Around Here With Nothing To Talk About?"

"Lord, maybe Baptism should have come after Pentecost."

'Methuselah, why are you blowing out the burning bush?...I thought it was my birthday cake.'

Noah's Ark: 'Two Vets Wanted.'

"And a little something for the wife."

'I rob Peter to pay Paul -- What do you do for a living?'

Adam and Eve: The Later Years.

"Says WHO?"

"Well, actually, they are written in stone."

Moses and the Screenwriter: 'Accurate-Shmaccurate...if you want this story to sell, it needs some punching up.'

'Are you sure? - I only remember creating TWO of them.'

"It's 'Honor thy Father and Mother', not brother!"

Laundry Day in the Garden of Eden.

Jacob's first attempt at deceiving Isaac.

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."

"Got any salt, Lot?"

'Everybody's out of compliance except the Israelites, and I'm beginning to worry about THEM.'

'Sorry...it just slipped !'

"No, Bobby, Moses did not DOWNLOAD the 10 commandments!"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'I can get you a good deal on sacrificial lambs...'

"I've got this awful feeling we took the wrong boat!"