Bible Study Gifts

"Dear God, Thank you for the nice commandments."

Yahweh/Your Way

"Hey, what do you know - a lefty."

I'm afraid it's time for you to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's,

'But there's not enough space for Thou shalt not wear socks with sandals.'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"God is out to get me."

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU! 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"No one said we couldn't eat the snake."

'In all fairness, some of these are counterintuitive.'

Saint Paul in a Roman prison cell with Onesimus.

'Uh oh, looks like the prodigal son is back: That means a feast!'

"That 'Love thy neighbor' part, does that include cats?"

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

I work from home now. Cheers, J.C.

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'You realize, these are going to lead to a lot of hypocrisy.'

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

"Rumour has it, he only got this gig because of who his dad is."

Who was the strongest man in history? Jonah, even a whale couldn't keep him down!

Haman's personal organiser

Jael Buys a tent stake.

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

'HE was right you know.'

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Reserved for Apostle of the Month

"Locusts don't sound too bad compared to spinach."

'What about all these fish stories?'