Bible Studying Gifts

"I could've sworn we only brought two fruit-flies!"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Moses on the web

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Caption Contest TK

Bible Bloopers

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"