Studying The Bible Gifts

Promised Land Signpost

"Yeah, I know what the Bible says about drunkenness, I also know what it says about gluttony..."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Moses on the web

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

TSA Noah

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

Christian and Born again Christian...

Caption Contest TK

Bible Bloopers

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'