Biblical Study Gifts

"First, I'd like to thank the Academy."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Moses on the web

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

TSA Noah

"I've got writer's block."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"You call this a constitution?"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

The World's Biggest Book Club

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'