Bible Studying Pillows

"I could've sworn we only brought two fruit-flies!"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Moses on the web

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

TSA Noah

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Bible Bloopers

Caption Contest TK

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'