
"One of you will betray me."
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"One of you will betray me."
"Dear God, Thank you for the nice commandments."
Yahweh/Your Way
I'm afraid it's time for you to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's,
"Hey, what do you know - a lefty."
'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'
'But there's not enough space for Thou shalt not wear socks with sandals.'
MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU! 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'
"God is out to get me."
'Verily I say unto you, the first shall be last and the last shall be first, while those in the middle will stay roughly the same.'
'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'
"That 'Love thy neighbor' part, does that include cats?"
"No one said we couldn't eat the snake."
'Uh oh, looks like the prodigal son is back: That means a feast!'
Saint Paul in a Roman prison cell with Onesimus.
'Quit giving it gas...you're going to flood this thing.'
'In all fairness, some of these are counterintuitive.'
'Well, there go all MY plans....'
"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"
'You realize, these are going to lead to a lot of hypocrisy.'
'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'
"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"
'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'
I work from home now. Cheers, J.C.
'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'
'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'
Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'
"As it says in Matthew 26-40, 'So, you had not the strength to stay awake with me ONE hour?'"
'opps! 'Scuse me - wrong Den!'
Religious man watching religious TV
'Here you go -- Don't say I didn't warn you.'
'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'
'How do I know it's mine?'
'Hey, where are you going? I'm not kicking you out! I'm just trying to point out where one of you dropped your fig leaf!'
"Well no, Ed. Jonah's fish probably wasn't as big as the one you caught in the state fishing tournament."
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