Bible Studies Scholar Prints

Eve ate of the apple, and God doth a spit take

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Moses on the web

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

TSA Noah

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"I've got writer's block."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

The World's Biggest Book Club

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'