Beauty Pageant Fans Gifts

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

Miss America IQ Pageant

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

Circus Pageant

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

Model's aspirations

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Beauty contest

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

Miss America IQ pageant.

"People here seem to appreciate the before and after photos much more than my previous job."

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

7th annual weird fishes pageant

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

Meet Miss Subways

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

"He used to be in the Props Dept. at his church's Christmas Pageant."