Beauty Pageant Fan Gifts

Miss of Garden.

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Beauty contest

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

Miss Universe.

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Coronavirus

Miss America IQ Pageant

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Model's aspirations

Miss America IQ pageant.

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

"He used to be in the Props Dept. at his church's Christmas Pageant."

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"