Beauty Pageant Enthusiasts Gifts

Doris always made a big impact in the swimwear section of the beauty contest

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Hair spray"

'Botox.'

'Medium well, please.'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

Circus Pageant

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

When he saw her first strands of grey hair he thought she'd dye.

"My secretary just made me aware of the necessity of investing in the beauty industry."

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

Week three, things started to get ugly.

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

"May be I should part my hair on the right."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."

'Charlene had never thought of herself as beautiful, but..well...mirrors don't lie.'

Model's aspirations

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Miss America IQ pageant.

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

"I know it's more practical Rapunzel, but I'm not so sure the perm really suits you."

'Take it from Grandma...enjoy it while you can because one day you'll turn around and find your make-up applicator is a trowel.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Beauty contest

Hair stylist images his work as butterfly, customer sees caterpillar.

'I'm looking as young as 20 years ago? Honey, promise me not to see an eye specialist for the next 20 years!'