Beauty Pageant Enthusiasts Gifts

Doris always made a big impact in the swimwear section of the beauty contest

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Hair spray"

'Botox.'

Hospital gown pageant.

'Medium well, please.'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

When he saw her first strands of grey hair he thought she'd dye.

"My secretary just made me aware of the necessity of investing in the beauty industry."

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

Week three, things started to get ugly.

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"May be I should part my hair on the right."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."

'Charlene had never thought of herself as beautiful, but..well...mirrors don't lie.'

Model's aspirations

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

"I know it's more practical Rapunzel, but I'm not so sure the perm really suits you."

'I'm looking as young as 20 years ago? Honey, promise me not to see an eye specialist for the next 20 years!'

Hair stylist images his work as butterfly, customer sees caterpillar.

Beauty contest

'Take it from Grandma...enjoy it while you can because one day you'll turn around and find your make-up applicator is a trowel.'

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Miss America IQ pageant.

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'