Beauty Pageant Follower Gifts

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

Miss America IQ Pageant

Inflating Boobs.

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'And do you, grand marshal Froomkin, promise to always love a parade?'

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Circus Pageant

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

Highlights

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

Model's aspirations

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Beauty contest

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

Miss America IQ pageant.

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

Hare Extensions. (Rabbit has a fake set of ears attached to its own.)

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

COWS: Wax lipped cow

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

Meet Miss Subways

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'