Pageant Fan Gifts

Hospital gown pageant.

'Lotsa Luck, Kiddo!'

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

Sweet bird of youth annual pageant

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

Miss Universe Contest.

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'And do you, grand marshal Froomkin, promise to always love a parade?'

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Circus Pageant

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Miss America IQ pageant.

Beauty contest

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

7th annual weird fishes pageant

"He used to be in the Props Dept. at his church's Christmas Pageant."

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Beauty Contest

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"